#48~ 1986

#1 ~ The Beginning

In this blog Marina Davidovich describes her life in the former Soviet Union, coming to the United States of America, learning a new way of life and new language, becoming a business woman and one of the most successful USA Coaches, promoting and being a very important part of the growth of  Rhythmic Gymnastics in America. And most importantly - overseeing her family growing and succeeding.

And the story begins...

• 1960 ~ Our life in Vinnitza, Ukraine
• 1961-1964 ~ School Years
• 1964-1970 ~ Teenage years
• 1970 ~ High School
• 1970 ~ Summer - Leningrad
• 1970-1971 ~ Now What?
• 1971 ~ Glimpse into adulthood
• 1976 - Coming to America
• 1976 - Simple Beginnings
• 1976 ~ June 16 Hartford, CT
• 1978 - First year in Detrot, MI
• 1979 - Rhythmic Gymnastics Team
• 1979 - Becoming Americans!

#2 ~ 1960 ~ Our life in Vinnitza, Ukraine

Back to the Beginning

We lived in a small, dark 2 ROOM basement apartment: My Grand Mother Clara, Grandpa Aron, My Mom, Dad, my sister Alla and I. The air in the flat was always hot and stuffy and as a child I remember watching a little droplet form and counted how long it will take for it to fall down. The mold was visible, even though my Grandma tried so hard to keep it clean, using the vinegar and soap.  No running water, no indoor plumbing...One room were my grandparents slept did not have any windows. It was so small, that could only hold one bed and a chair. The other room had small window and it was higher that my dad's head and we could see peoples shoes when they walked by. 

I was always sick. I guess lack of vitamins, moldy air and and not enough basic nutrients were the reasons. I was in and out of the children's hospital all the time. I found this picture. It was taken after I came home from a long stay in the hospital for infectious deceases. I was there for 30 days. Alone... at the age of 6 - without my Mom. They even shaved my hair. I was so little, weak and sad!

Marina Davidovich on the left with Grandma Clara and neighbors, Lyudmila and Alex.

When I was in first grade, few exciting things happened: we moved from the 2 room moldy flat in the basement to a 3 room  apartment in the new development, on the second floor! My father worked for the construction company and in order to secure our new apartment, we moved in before it was complete. I remember walking through the "construction" zone for many months. We did not have heat or running water, or even electricity. But it was on the second floor and we did not have condensation running down the walls and we had natural light and windows that were above the ground!!! But the most important: we had bathroom and shower inside!
And then in November my little brother Eduard was born. I was a big sister! My responsibility was to keep the temporary wood stove burning and make sure that baby's blankets were warm.

My Mom and my 6 months old little brother

  

I also remember always being hungry. My Mom would wake me up at 5am in the morning, bundle up my little brother and we would go to stay in line to get eggs and milk and sometimes white bread. Food was rationed and one had to be in line to get ten eggs, milk and sometimes sour cream. I cried "I don't like milk and eggs, I don't want to go!"
In a few months, workers finished the building and it was fun watching other people moving in the vacant apartments.

  Then, in the spring of that year, I was one of 10 girls chosen by my PE teacher to go and try out for gymnastics group in the Youth Sport School. My first coach was Ida Davidovich (who knew she is going to be my mother-in-law?!). She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Most of the women wore ugly boots (valenki) - Ida had shoes on high heels, most women wore "babushkas" on their heads -  she wore beautiful hats. I wanted to be just like her!

Ida Davidovich, my first Coach and future mother-in law

Next Post: 1961-1964 ~ School Years

#3 ~ 1961-1964 ~ School Years

Back to the Beginning
Previous: 1960 ~ Our life in Vinnitza, Ukraine

My school years were happy years. I loved school. Probably because I was a good student and teachers always praised me. I participated in all the school event: social or athletic. I loved my teachers: Aron Isakoich - Math, Rimma Ivanovna - Russian Literature, Valentina Vasilevna - English teacher, Diana Gavrilovna - Geography  and many, many more. They gave me tools, they taught me that MORE I know  - more I know that I DON'T know! I was reading lots of books any time, anywhere, even during some boring classes, which got me in trouble many times.
I was very involved  with my gymnastics after school, took piano classes for the first 3 years of school. And since we did not have a convenience of a personal car, every day after school, laden with heavy school books and a bag with gymnastics uniform, I had to take city bus and city tram to get to my gymnastics practice. No wonder I was always tired...
In the 6th grade I was introduced  to the ballroom dancing. My partner, Eugene Vaiman (who is the Chairman of the Ballroom Association in Israel now) and I participated in every state, sectional and Regional competition. The only bad thing I remember is that my feet ALWAYS hurt. No wonder: my shoes were 2 sizes too small, but they were beautiful!
 Our team was the great! We won District and Regional Championships and represented our Region on National Championships many years in a row.


1968 ~ Rhythmic Gymnastics Team after the competition watching the rest of the competitors .

1968 ~ Marina (Right), Ludmila Goyeva ( middle) 

Some families lived better, some worse than us. It was very common to have a kitchen and bathroom shared by 3 or 4 families. It was  called communal living. Most of the time there were fights and ugly accusations. People were gossiping and no-one had any privacy. Men and women were drinking heavily. And now I understand: it was to escape the misery, unhappiness and darkness. Store shelves were empty most of the times. If we walked down the street and saw the line in front of the store, we had to get in line and then find out what they had. And no matter what it was, we bought it, whether it was food or shoes or clothes... regardless we need it or not.

In 1961 my beloved Grandfather Aron passed away. He died in the hospital for infectious decease ( same one I spent 1 month when I was little). He had an infection from the wound that he got during the war. It could be easily treated here. But apparently there was not enough medication at that time. He was 61 years old. My Grandmother was so heartbroken, She only lived 6 months after that. She was 58...

My Grandma Clara

                                                        
My Grandpa Aron and I (my hair is slowly growing after the hospital)



Next: 1964-1970 ~ Teenage years

#4 ~ 1964 -1970 ~ Teenage years

Back to the Beginning
Previous: 1961-1964 ~ School Years

As I was getting older, I saw things that were hard to explain.
One day in the 6th grade we went to the city library that was  much bigger and better then our school library. When we stopped by the front desk, we were asked to fill out the library card. One of the questions was: your nationality. I looked over my friend's shoulder and wrote: "Ukrainian" just like she did. After all, we lived in Ukraine. But when the librarian took my card, she looked at me and said: "No, honey, you are a Jew". I could not understand how am I different from my friends: we speak the same language, go to the same school, eat the same food... But apparently, I was different.

At the age of 16, every citizen must receive the passport. And it's not a passport that we have here, in the USA... It's your ID. It has your name, date of birth and the 5th line is your nationality. I was so desperate, and wanted so much to be just like my friends, and not being Jewish! My father had "Russian" written in his passport ( it's a long story how he became Yuri instead of Isak, "Russian and not Jewish). So, here I am: 16 year old girl, equipped with my Dad's passport, walked into the office and said :"I am here to apply for my passport". The clerk looked at my application and said: "I know your family. You are Jewish and your father's name is Isak". I was stunned, upset and angry! But there was nothing I could do.

Photo for the Passport

    My best friend in school was Olga. I would go to her house very often to do homework together, play, or just "hang out". I was so surprised that they always had meat, fresh fruit, butter. They had 3 big rooms, telephone and even refrigerator! When I questioned my Mom about it, she said:"Olga's father is important, he works for the Government. So please, DO NOT ask any questions!" 

But I still could not understand, could not agree.

Movies were often the "windows into the world". We especially loved foreign movies. Some of my favorites were "Funny Girl", "Sound of music", "Man and a woman". When we watched the movie, most of the time it was NOT the plot or great actors that fascinated us. What was incredible is that even "regular" people (not just in Government) had apartments, cars, beautiful clothes, food, gum, Coca-Cola (Oh, how we dreamed of tasting Coca-Cola!!!), and people could just move from one place to another without any problems or asking for permission. For us to move from one city to another was close to impossible. Can't even dream of visiting another country.

Bit still, I was a very good student in school, was very successful in gymnastics, and in 9th grade I started character dancing, which was fun, exciting and dynamic. I loved performing, loved costumes and of course being the youngest member of the group - all the attention...
 

                       

                                       May 1969 ~ Marina Davidovich performing in                                the Central theater, Vinnitza, Ukraine.
                        

Next: 1970 ~ High School

#5 ~ 1970 ~ High School

Back to the Beginning
Previous Post:1964-1970 ~ Teenage years

Our school was very different from the schools here in the US. We went to the same school from the first grade (elementary school) to the 10th grade ( high school). Teachers changed, subjects changed, but the core of students was the same. Since I was one of the the top students in my grade (about 120 kids), there was no question if I am going to College. The big question was: which one???
My English teacher wanted me to continue with languages, my math teacher was sure that I will be an engineer, my gymnastics coach had no doubt that I have to be  coach/choreographer and of course my dance instructor would not talk about anything else, but "grooming" me for a dancer/performer. Decisions, decisions...
Around March of 1970 we had 2 young men coming to our school. They were representing Leningrad (now St. Petersburg) College of Aviation Instrument Design. They were very good looking, well dressed, smart, funny, articulate, convincing and did I mention - very handsome. After several days of listening to them describe the College, asking questions, looking at the pictures, reading pamphlets,  I made my decision: I am going to Leningrad. My friend, Ludmila Pogoran and I registered for 1 month of preparatory classes, which were going to start on June 1.
In May I passed final exams in school and my math teacher, Aron Isakovich was very happy with my decision.
After the exams, we all fell free, happy, looking forward to our future! We had a very memorable and exciting graduation ceremony and graduation ball. Beautiful dresses (my aunt Marta got me lace white dress), music, dancing, even champagne, staying up all night, watching sunrise. It seemed like anything is possible, everything is achievable!!!
End of June: bags packed, tickets purchased, goodbyes said and we are on our way to Leningrad, the most beautiful city in the world (at that time my world was rather small).

1970 ~ Marina is ready or not...for the independent life in Leningrad

Next: 1970 ~ Summer - Leningrad

#6 ~ 1970 ~ Summer - Leningrad

Back to the Beginning
Previous Post:1970 ~ High School

We arrived to Leningrad by train in the morning. The plan was: to sleep on the train and be ready for adventures in the morning. But we were so excited and nervous, we did not sleep at all that night. So needless to say when we arrived, we were dead tired and exhausted. Thankfully, it was pretty easy to find the college, but it took us all day to register, pick up schedules, get to the dorms, unpack. We had all the intentions to go out and explore the city, but both of us fell asleep despite the commotion, noise, clatter, loud voices all around us. I woke up in the middle of the night very confused and hungry. The clock showed 3 am, but it was light outside. I stood by the window and looked into the still of the white night. It was surreal!
Next day started early. Our first class was in the big auditorium. Young professor made two announcements that were rather shocking:
 #1 - Forget everything you have learned in school. HA!!!
#2-The chance that you will get accepted is very slim. We have 7 people applying for 1 spot. Double HA!!
It dampened our spirits for just a few minutes. We had so many great and fun things ahead of us, or so we thought.
Every day started at 7am with classes in algebra, geometry, physics. After 3pm - quick dinner mostly of noodles or potatoes and on the good day a jar of stuffed Bulgarian pepper, and on with the home work. Only after 6 or 7pm we were able to go and explore this beautiful city. I knew the fascinating history of Leningrad, but it was so different to see it, touch it, smell it. Whenever we had a chance we would visit the Hermitage Museum. Several times we took a ferry to the summer palace in Petergoff. It was magical time. I did miss my Mom and Dad, even my annoying little brother. I missed the warmth and security of my home. But being on my own, making decisions, learning and exploring was very exciting.
Day of the entry exams. I was so nervous. First exam was a written math test. It lasted about 4 hours. I passed with the grade of 4. (Grade system is different: 1 being the worst, like an "F" and 5 being the best like an "A"). So 4 was very good.
Next day was oral math test. We would come into the classroom one at a time, pull the ticket with 3 questions from the table. After 15 minutes of preparation, we had to answer these questions. So there are no multiple choice questions....I did not do very well. Professor kept interrupting me and asking something so irrelevant to what my questions were. I was very confused. I got a disappointing 3.
Physics and the Essay went very well, without any problems. My total score was15.
Ludmila and 2 other girls from my dorm room already failed and left, so I was in the room all by myself. On one hand, it was lonely and sad, on the other hand, more chances for me to make it. In the morning we got a word that the score to get in is 15. 15!!!! It means I made it. I ran downstairs where they displayed the list of all the new students that were accepted, just to make sure. But I did not see my name. First, I thought that it was a mistake. I had 15 points, I had be on the list!
I stopped by the office to talk to the administrator. He was very nice and said the I did great, but they only accepted the certain percentage of girls and the certain percentage of Jews. Ahhh.... And that I should try again next year.
I could not believe what I heard. I wanted to scream, to hit somebody, especially those two good looking boys that convinced me to come to this College (only now they did not seem so good looking). Disappointment, sadness, anger, gloom, humiliation. How am I to look into my Mom's eyes? I was sure that all my friends from school got into the Colleges. What am I to do? I was suppose to vacate the dorm room by next day, I had no money or place to stay. I was 17 years old and  life seemed to be over. So the only thing I could do is go home.
I did not realize back then, that it was my first LIFE cruel lesson.

Next: 1970-1971 ~ Now What?

#7 ~ 1970-1971 ~ NOW WHAT?

Back to the Beginning
Previous Post:1970 ~ Summer - Leningrad

Well, my plans of going to College in Leningrad were crashed. I came home and frankly did not know what to do. It's like my life hit the dead end, came to a halt. But I did not realize that when one tiny door was slammed in my face, so many huge windows of opportunity opened up! I continued with my gymnastics training. We trained in a big gymnasium in the "Palace of Pioneers". Palace is just a name of the building, that did not have any heat or running water. Fall was ok, but when the winter came, it was so freezing, that our coach and piano player had to wear coats, gloves and hats...But that did not stop us from training.

I also danced with the dance troop and since I did not go to school, I was available to perform in and out of town.
My younger brother, Eduard was attending the same school that I graduated. One day (I think in September), he came home and said that the School Principal wanted me to come and see him. What? Principal's office? What have I done now? I was nervous and prepared a short speech explaining why I did get into College. When I came into his office, Michael Georgevich, my School principal (everyone, including all the teachers were terrified of him) got up, put his arms around me and gave me a big bear hug. I did not expect this AT ALL! I started crying, but he took my hand and told me what a smart, talented, bright person I am and that I will have a very successful future in front of me. I practically looked around to see if he was talking to someone else. He offered me a job, paying job! teaching children dance classes in the school. U-N-H-E-A-R-D OF!!! I immediately said "YES!" So overnight I turned from a sad little girl into a young lady, with even adults looking at me with respect and admiration.
Another exciting event happened: We got a telephone! OMG! It was a split line with our neighbors, which means: if I wanted to use it I needed to go outside on the balcony and yell "Get off the phone!" to my neighbor, since she was talking all the time. But it was a telephone! And we were one of the very few families that had this luxury.



                                     

                                              1970 ~ Marina ~ first year of teaching dance and                                                                 gymnastics classes.

Next: 1971 ~ Glimpse into adulthood

#8 ~ 1971 ~ Glimpse into adulthood

Back to the Beginning
Previous Post:1970-1971 ~ Now What?

Right after the New Year we had a guest coach from Kiev, Elena Vasilievna Biruk. She was fabulous! We trained 6-7 hours at a time and still it was not enough. She was strict, fare, knowledgeable and made us laugh at our own mistakes. I fell in love with her style of coaching. Elena asked me what were my plans for next year. And I said that I am going back to Leningrad to try again. She looked into my eyes and said:” Why? You definitely have talent to be a fantastic coach. If you change your mind, come and apply to the Kiev State University of Physical Culture. That's were I am teaching." I was very touched, thankful and said that I will think about it.

Elena Biruk, one of the best coaches in the World

My very first coach, Ida got married and moved to Kiev when I was 7 years old. (That's one of the ways to move from one city to another...) I knew that she had son, Felix. Why is this important?

Well, at the end of January he called me and asked if I could assist him in finding Ida's former students. I agreed to meet him and we spent a long day together tracking down Ida's students. We talked about his days in the Army, my failed attempt to get into College, history, art, movies, books. I was surprised how easy it was talking to him, how smart he was and how different he was from the other boys I dated. He walked me home (I insisted on it!), we said goodbyes not realizing that this was THE beginning of the rest of our lives together.

February 23 was a big celebration in the former Soviet Union: Day of the Soviet Army. Big military parades in all the big cities, music, celebration. I was sending cards to all my friends (boys), not boyfriends and decided to send one to Felix. After all, he served in the Army.

March 8 is another big Holiday - International Women’s Day. No parades, no fireworks, but it's customary for men to give flowers and presents to women. That night my Mom said that there is someone on the phone for me. It was Felix! He congratulated me with March 8th and invited me to come and visit him in Kiev. I felt very special! After all he was so much older and seemed so grown up, sophisticated, experienced and refined!

Felix when we first met

In a few weeks, without telling my Mom, I got on the train and went to Kiev. Felix showed me this beautiful city, we talked and walked the streets of the city, and he was a perfect host. At that time he lived with his mother and her former husband in the 2-room (not 2 bedroom!) apartment. They shared kitchen and bathroom. What a life!

The weekend passed very fast. I got home all giddy, happy and lightheaded. I had to make a decision what to do next. I could listen to people's advice, but decision had to be mine: what to do? Being adult is hard. You have to make your decisions that will impact the rest of your life!

After long and extensive contemplating, I decided to go to Kiev and become a COACH. Did the fact that Felix lived there have anything to do with it? Probably... But thinking how much I enjoyed teaching dance in school, how I loved gymnastics, and the fact that I will be coached by the country’s best coach also helped me to make up my mind.

So in June I went to Kiev to apply to the Kiev State University of Physical Culture.

Next: 1976 - Coming to America 

#9 ~ My College Years

You might think that I will tell some crazy, wild stories about my life in College. Sorry to disappoint everyone: it was pretty boring. Since I had very high scores during the entry exams, I was awarded a stipend and a dormitory. Well, it sounds great, but the stipend was $50.00 rubles a month and dormitory was a depressing, tiny room that I shared with a girl from Belarus (Tatyana). The rules of the dormitory could be compared to the one in prison: no drinking, smoking, no boys in or near the building, front doors are locked, at 22:00 (10pm)... You got the point. The worst part of being in the dormitory was noise and total lack of privacy. Anyone could come into you room, take anything they wanted, including clothes, shoes, books, personal items, etc. I could only endure it for 3 or 4 weeks and along with my new friend Tatiana we decided that we will be better off renting an apartment somewhere near the College.
Well, that was a rush decision based on our inexperience, immaturity and how very naïve we were. During our first year in College we had to move 6 or 7 times from one bad place to the worse one. It gives me shivers just remembering some places we had to stay... Few times we were lucky to rent a bed!!! So in about 2 months our dorm rooms seemed like a palace. But it was too late, since we gave it up.
But  despite of harsh leaving conditions and constantly being hungry, I enjoyed classes, practice, new sites and new experiences.
I was dating Felix who was older, wiser and more knowledgeable. We would meet at night after my classes and gymnastics practice. He would always bring me something to eat: sandwich, sweet cheese, candies, white bread rolls. We would go to the movies, or just spent time walking the streets of Kiev. I was always looking forward to our dates. One night after the practice I was running late and coming down from the staircase I did not realize that one side of the huge glass door was closed. I just ran through it. I stopped on the other side of it,  turned around and saw the huge piece of glass just crashing behind me. It was a miracle, but I did not have a scratch on me. I saw all the people staring at me with horror and amazement and pointing at a pile of class on the floor... I guess, I was in a big hurry for my date :-).
My favorite subjects in College were anatomy and biology. I also enjoyed our training, competitions, performances and trips around the country.            

                    Marina ~ Ribbon routine

I was also beginning to practice how to be a judge and enjoyed it very much.

Marina Davidovich judging State Championships at Kiev State University

#10 ~ My College Years Continue

College courses were very easy for me. Now that I am going back in time, it's interesting that I not only remember dates and people and events, I also remember what I was thinking at that time! I remember my thoughts and dreams...One day our rowing team came back from competition in Poland. They brought some things that were not possible to buy in Kiev: razor blades for men, make up for girls, clothes. We were all admiring those items behind the Gym on the bench. And then I saw a sweater: beautiful sweater. I tried it on and it was a perfect fit. I could not resist. It was $50.00 rubles, my monthly stipend. I bought this sweater and later that night Felix scolded me that I lost my mind, that I am not thinking, etc. 

My answer was: "But it looks so good on me, it's my money and I am a girl!"

Marina Davidovich (middle)in front of Kiev State University of Physical Culture with teammates after practice.

My favorite subjects were anatomy and bio mechanics. But later that year we had a new professor who was teaching psychology. He was brilliant. He introduced us to the works of  Sigmund Freud, Joseph Breuer and many more. I loved his lectures, his presentations and experiments.
 At that point we, my roommate Tatyana and I, were renting a small room in the 4 story apartment building. We had a very limited access to the kitchen and bathroom. But it was very close to College and very convenient for us. We could even come home between the classes. Since we did not have refrigerator, we kept some of our food supply outside the window. One day we came home and as usual we were starving. The only thing we had, was the container with sour cream. We ate it with a loaf of white bread. In about half an hour both of us were lying on the floor crying from sharp and intense (understatement !) pain. Obviously we had food poisoning! I don't remember how we got to the medical center in College, but the nurse was very quick to diagnose us and made us drink 3 gallons of special water with disinfectant (margantsovka). It was horrible, nasty and horrifying! But she was yelling at us:"Do you want to die??? Drink!!!" We recovered, but NEVER ate sour cream again.
Felix was a big part of my life. He lived with his mother, Ida and shared kitchen and bathroom with her ex-husband. He slept in a narrow and dark hallway. But their one room apartment was nice and bright and nicely decorated. I loved coming there. Felix introduced me to some of his friends and there was a lot of talking about people that left Soviet Union and moved to Israel, USA, Canada. Some stories were tragic, some happy. We read letters from people, listened to the BBC radio, which was forbidden, had a lot of discussions about what it would be like to leave Soviet Union. But I never thought that it could be a reality, at least for me.

#11 ~ 1973 ~ Decisions, decisions...

On a very warm bright, autumn afternoon we, Felix and I were walking in the park. He stopped, looked at me  and said: "I have a very important question to ask you." After a moment of silence he said that he is planning to leave Soviet Union and go to Israel or USA and if we are to stay together, I will have to come with him. I was in shock. I knew he was thinking about it, talked to a lot of people about it, but I had no idea that he was actually going to do it. So the decision I had to make: stay and live without him or go and leave my family, friends, life as I know it behind. It was just too much. I said that I cannot do it. And that was that...
I walked home by myself, crying, confused, scared. I don't remember if it was hours, days or weeks being without him. Nothing seemed real. My friends were trying to help me, but I could not tell them the real reason why we broke up. I could not tell ANYONE the real reason.
I was home, tired and depressed, when Tanya, my roommate said:"He is here, Felix is here!" I turned around and here he was. He looked sad and exhausted. He simply said: "I would rather stay here with you than lose you. Forgive me." I was elated, ecstatic, overjoyed, in seventh heaven. Huge, enormous stone fell off my chest.
Life went on. We saw each other every day, I was going to school, he was working. We were busy. Still read letters from abroad, still listened to the BBC station.
 My Coach, Elena Vasilievna was talking to me about becoming her assistant. Life was good, or so it seemed at that time.
I would go home (city of Vinnitza) to visit my family every time I had achance. Since Kiev was the Capitol of Ukraine, there was a little better selection of food products in the stores. I could buy and bring with me some cheese, sometimes oranges or some kind of cake. My brother, Eduard was always happy when I came to visit.
In the winter of that year, we were walking, holding hands and Felix simply said:"It's time for us to get married." Just like that: no kneeling down, no ring, no big words or flowers. I did not say a word. But as everyone knows, silence is a sign of agreement. So in May we got married. Nobody approved of this marriage at first. My family were saying:"Where are you going to live? Why don't you wait until you finish College?" His Mom just was not happy with his choice. And even my coach said that I am making a huge mistake.

Felix and Marina Davidovich are getting married in the City Hall, Kiev, Ukraine

Felix and Marina Davidovich are getting married in the City Hall, Kiev, Ukraine

But we did it anyway. We had only close friends and family present at the ceremony and a small reception.
After getting married, we still lived in separate apartments. But we spent every waking moment together: talking, planning, dreaming, laughing, enjoying each others company.

#12~ 1973 ~ Married life

Despite difficult living conditions, we were happy. Felix kept reading letters to me from friends and his distant relatives, who immigrated to Israel, Canada and USA, he was talking again about the possibilities, promise and freedom abroad versus stagnating and hard times in Ukraine. I was beginning to see his point, but still fear, apprehension of unknown and unfamiliar was winning...Strong propaganda against western world was weighing down on me.  I was scared to even think about it.

In August, during my summer school break we went on our honeymoon. Our destination was Georgian town Gagry. 

Gagry, where we had our honeymoon.

Town was beautiful, right on the coast of warm black sea, at the foot of  the Caucasus Mountains.

We rented small room, not too far from the beach. We enjoyed sunshine, stunning views, swimming and exploring.

At the local, colorful market for the first time in my life I saw banana and pineapple and tried mango juice. We were very tight with money 

(an UNDERSTATEMENT!!!), but I saw plenty of people living "good life", eating in the restaurants, buying expensive clothes, drinking wine and champagne.

One morning, we were in line for breakfast in a local  cafeteria, and I fainted. Just like that! Since I never had anything like this happen to me before, I was not ready for it. I just collapsed, my head missing the trunk of a huge tree by inches. When I came to, I saw Felix's worried face and a strange woman standing over me. She was smiling and said:"Honey, you are pregnant". Really? Really??? I am too young, I am still in college, I am not ready! But the fact was that I was pregnant and I was happy.  I knew that we will manage, I was confident that everything is going to be all right.

#13 ~ I am a MOTHER!!!

There were several students in the College that were married, but I was the only one who was expecting a child. Very few of my close friends knew about it and nothing changed in my appearance until I was about 4.5 months pregnant. I wore a big black jacket that completely concealed my pregnancy. Non of my professors new that I am expecting. In September before the school resumed I moved in with Felix and his Mother, Ida. The situation was very awkward: Ida lived in the same flat with her x-husband Isak Aronovich. They had 2 separate rooms, but they shared kitchen and bathroom. Felix's bed ( a narrow futon) was in the narrow hallway. An that's where we slept. Isak was a school teacher, so he was up at 5:30am and was gone from the house from 6am-6pm. School, where he worked was far away and he had to use bus and city tram to get there. Sundays were difficult since he stayed home most of the day. But he was a very nice man and tried very hard to stay out of our way.
I was busy at school, and tried not to think about the future. Ida's cousin, Bella and her family left for Israel and promised to send us an invitation. I asked Felix why do we need an invitation, and he said:"Just in case". We kept getting information from friends about their life in America, Israel and Canada. I gradually started to realize that we have no future, we did not even have place to live. And we are going to have a baby!
I took an early midterm exams and in December I went home to be with my Mom and Dad. At least there I had my own room. It was very weird for me to see changes in my body, feel the baby move in my stomach. I was so young, so naïve, but very inspired and curious.
In 2 months after I got home, the most beautiful healthy baby girl was born. And it changed my life FOREVER!!! I was responsible for this little tiny person. Mother's instinct took over immediately! In the hospital there were 12 women in the same room with me. We did a lot of talking, exchanged stories: some sweet, some horrifying, some scary. I was the youngest one, so everyone felt obligated to teach me "life". Babies were brought to us every 3 hours for nursing. I could not wait to see my little girl and she was the most beautiful child I have ever seen!
It is a mandatory 7 days stay in the hospital. Food was horrible and I was so hungry! Relatives were allowed to bring food to us. Felix was still in Kiev, working. Every day my Mom would bring me a little pot with chicken soup, mashed potatoes or pirogi (pastry with meat inside). There were no showers, beds were very small and uncomfortable, my robe was 4 times my size, so were the slippers. I could not wait to get out of there. However, nurses and doctors were wonderful, very helpful and understanding. I was dreaming of going home and take a long bath...or at least a short shower.
Finally the day came when I was allowed to leave the hospital with my baby. Felix and my Mother met me downstairs and when he saw me, his eyes said it all. I was so skinny and pale, worn out and exhausted, he was speechless. But when he saw our perfect, beautiful girl, he cried. And I cried with him. The nurse  looked at me and simply said:"You are going to be a wonderful mother."

Marianna Davidovich (Masha) ~ my beautiful baby!

I cant remember how we got home, but I know that we did not have a stroller yet, so we must of carried our precious bundle in our hands all the way home using the city bus.

#14 ~ 1974 ~ No turning back

Being a full time student and a new Mother had lots of challenges. I was always going, going, going. I was studying for tests while nursing, and falling asleep during the lectures. The fact that we did not have disposable diapers or store-ready baby food -  had all of us constantly washing, ironing and folding clothes diapers. My hands were raw from the soap.
It was also a luck and a miracle that we were able to buy a stroller. We used it as a crib as well.
At that time we lived in one room and the other room was occupied by Ida's 

x- husband, Isak. He was a history teacher in a local school. We shared kitchen, bathroom and shower. There was no elevator, so taking the stroller up and down the steps provided a great challenge and a good workout.
Felix started talking again about us leaving the Soviet Union. Now he had facts, stories and advice from the letters that were coming from friends and relatives abroad. I was beginning to see that we had no future, but it was so scary, frightening and worrisome to even think about it.
One morning in College, we had an announcement to report to the large auditorium for an important meeting. It usually happened only in the beginning of the school year. We  were all very happy, because we would miss our boring philosophy class. Once we were seated, the dean escorted to the stage one of the students, Michael and without any formal introductions, greetings, etc. announced: "Meet the enemy of the state, the trader, possibly enemy agent..." Everyone was stunned. We new Michael. He was a shy, quiet, always pleasant and smiling boy. The reason they made those accusations was: Michael and his family was immigrating to Israel. One by one professors and students were coming on the stage and were saying horrible, stabbing words to him. Michael was ghastly white, with tears in his eyes and his head down. He was only 18 years old and not prepared to this cruelty, humiliation  and accusations. It lasted for two excruciating long hours. I felt his pain and hurt.
I also was terrified. I thought: "I would rather die than go through this".

No caption needed!

Baby Masha was our source of joy and happiness. She was so beautiful! Every sound and move she made seemed like a miracle to me, a very proud and a very young mother.

Marina, Felix and baby Masha

One day I came home from school and went straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner. I took Mashoonya with me and put her on the futon in the hall, so I could keep an eye on her while cooking. She was sound asleep. I heard the front door open and knew that it was Felix coming home from work. He walked in, picked up the baby and was walking to the kitchen to give me a kiss. I started whispering: " What are you doing? You will wake her up!" And right before he reached me, a huge piece of the ceiling fell crashing down, right on the spot where Masha was sleeping  seconds ago. We both froze in disbelief. I started crying, and shaking from the horrible thought of what would've happened, that she could be killed. For months I would wake up from the nightmare and thoughts what if Felix would be late, or did not pick Masha or...
At that very moment we both decided that no matter what we have to go through, what we have to endure, we must take advantage of the opportunity to leave this town, this country, this life.
I had to tell my family about our decision and I knew it was going to be very, very hard. But it was NO TURNING BACK!

#15 ~ 1974 ~ Getting Exit Visas

 In 1971, when the United States made a deal with the Soviet Union for improved trade agreements in return for more lenient immigration policies, tiny door in the iron curtain opened up. At this time any Soviet Jew could obtain an exit visa for Israel, but they still could not go to the United States. Then in 1976, HIAS ( the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society ) started to give Soviet Jews the chance to settle in America as well. Many Soviet Jews soon applied for visas for different reasons: Soviet Universities were continuing to restrict the number of Jewish students,  there was a shortage of food, clothing and housing in the U.S.S.R, which had been a problem since the World War II. Close to 700,000 Jews immigrated from former Soviet Union to  USA.
We did not have this information back then. We just knew that it is time to go, that this opportunity may not last long. Felix's Mom, Ida decided not to join us. The process was long and complicated. First we had to have personal invitation from a relative in Israel. Thankfully, we got one from Ida's cousin. When we were ready to apply for visa, she changed her mind and begged Felix to  take her with us. Well, back to square one. We did not have phones or emails or faxes back then. Communication was ONLY via painfully slow and not reliable mail. Without any hope Felix went to Moscow and he approached a couple that were leaving Netherlands Embassy. They looked happy. So Felix asked them if they received visas. They said:"Yes, we are leaving for Israel in 7 days". So he begged total strangers to send invitation for our family. To our huge surprise after one month of waiting, we received an envelope with red ribbon on it and an invitation inside. We kept our decision in secret even from our closest friends and relatives. But now with invitation on our hands, we went to OVIR -  agency that grants exit visas. And from there on, our decision was public. We had to get certificates from the places of work, school, place where we lived, permission from our parents and so many more documents, that it was overwhelming and sometimes devastating. I was still in College, and very busy with the baby. So Felix took it upon himself to do most of the work.
He did not see his father Joseph, who lived in Novosibirsk (up north) with his new family for over 20 years. Felix flew across the country to get his permission. When he got there, his father was very sick. But he signed the papers, asked for Felix's forgiveness, wished him good luck and gave him 200 rubles. Felix was touched. He said Goodbyes to his father and he knew that he will never see him again.
My family refused to sign papers. My Mom was so upset and angry. She could not imagine life without us and especially her new granddaughter. So we had no choice. We forged their signature...
There was no copy machines and in order to translate every document, we had to take it to the office and have it copied by hand, and then notarized. And that goes for all the documents, since we could not take originals with us: birth certificates, marriage certificates, school and medical records, etc.
I cannot describe the tension and pressure we had to endure. And of course, the secret was out. Our neighbors found out, our friends found out. No one wanted to be associated with us any more. My best friend, Olga cut herself out of all our pictures together and dropped them in our mailbox. I understood.
Felix's boss said that Felix needs to quit his job or they will set him up as a thief. Both Ida and Felix had to quit their jobs.
I was called to the Dean's office. I was so very afraid that they will put me in front of all the students, just like they did for Michael. When I came into the Deans office, I was prepared to beg him not to make me go through this process. But he was very nice to me. He asked if I was sure of my decision, told me what a great student I am, promised a very bright future in College if I stay. And at the end he shook my hand, gave me my transcripts and wished me and my family best of luck. I was relieved and thankful!

Stroll in the park

After we submitted our documents to the government agency, we just had to sit and wait. If they will say "No" - we are finished. We will be "Refuzniks". And that meant: no work, no place to live, no life.

No one will ever hire or help us, we will have no place to live, no friends to turn to. Scary!!!

#16~ 1975~ Still waiting for Exit Visas

Waiting is one of the worst things one can experience, especially when your life and lives of the loved ones depends on it. We were all very nervous, anxious and fearful, but tried not to show it. Felix and Ida were forced to leave their jobs, I was almost done with College. Financially we were struggling. Ida started selling some of her clothes, shoes, dishes, even furniture. We decided that it will be easier on everyone if I would go and live with my parents until we get permission from the Government to leave the country. In the middle of May, as soon as I was done with my final exams, I took the baby and left Kiev to live with my parents. My Mom still did not want to accept the fact that we are going to leave. She did not want to even talk about it. I was trying very gently to tell her and my Dad that we had no chance making a normal life for ourselves here, that it is a perfect time to escape this misery while the iron curtain is slightly open.

My Mon and Dad with baby Masha

One episode is so fresh in my memory, and that's when my Mom said for the first time: "Maybe you are right". We had a tomato in the refrigerator and my brother who was 14 years old (and growing!) at that time, came home from school and ate it. Yes, he ate a tomato. My mother screamed and yelled at him:"It was for the baby! What were you thinking?!?" The look of hurt, question and pain in my brother's eyes was unbearable. He did not cry, but I did.

One night I woke up from a frightening almost barking sound of  Masha's cough. It became worse and worse by the hour. Next day in the afternoon, we had to call the ambulance and they took us to the hospital, hospital for infectious disease. I hated and feared that hospital. My Grandfather Aron died there and I was "held" a prisoner there for almost a month when I was only 7 years old. Masha had a croup. She had a very high fever, horrible dry "barking seal" cough, she had hard time breathing. As soon as we were admitted to the hospital, a nurse took the baby from my arms and brought her to the "steam room" they called it. She had a basin with scalding hot water and without even checking the temperature of the water, she put Masha's legs in it. I touched water with my hands, and screamed that it was boiling hot, but the nurse did not even acknowledged my cries. Baby was screaming and kicking her little legs, I was fighting with the "Nazi-nurse", but she was so much bigger and stronger then me. It seemed forever, until another nurse came in and wrestled my baby from her. Masha's legs and my hands were red, burned. But I did not feel the pain. I was so angry, so concerned for the baby... They put some kind of ointment on the burns and took us a long time to calm her down. Thankfully, I nursed her at that time. We were in the room with about 14 other patients. Bed was very narrow, with saggy mattress, so I was sitting on the chair all night, listening to my baby breath. People were crying and coughing all around us. I fell asleep and woke up sitting on the floor, with my head on the bed. That's how we spent almost 2 weeks. Doctors were coming once a day to check on patients and their progress. While I was in the hospital two children died and we watched with horror their grieving parents escorting the stretchers. If you don't know what fear is, that's how I would describe it: Fear to lose something so dear and important to you, fear to lose your child. I was so determine to get out of this horrible place. In 2 weeks, which felt like an eternity,  they let us go. Again, I felt that I escaped from a prison! Again! But we left the hospital with a present: both of us had head lice. Oh, what a joy... We had to shave my baby's beautiful curls and cut my long hair.

Baby Masha after the hospital. "Where are my curls?"

#17 ~ June 1975 ~Time to go!

While I was staying with my parents, waiting for the news from Felix, who was still in Kiev, it looked like we tried to avoid the subject. When I would try to talk about the future, my Mom would say: "Everything is going to be fine". But my parents did not want to even consider the possibility of leaving the Soviet Union. What Felix had to go through, what he had to endure, is simply incredible. And maybe I can encourage him to write a story about it, which I will include in my blog. But the fact is that on June 12, 1975 I received a phone call that our family received permission to leave Soviet Union. They gave us 2 weeks to complete all the necessary arrangements and leave the country. We were allowed only one suitcase per person, about $150.00 a person. No jewelry, except wedding bands. We had to buy one way ticket from Kiev to Vienna. We also were allowed to pack a box, size 1 cubic meter (approximately 3 feet high and 3 feet wide). It was going to be kept at the customs and as soon as we will know the address, it will be shipped to us. What do you choose to put in this box, that we were not sure when or most important IF we will ever see it? So we packed it with pillows, linens, dishes, lots of books, pictures, some winter clothes, toys for Masha.

                                        Description of the items we sent by boat and never thought we would get it

When we went to the bank to exchanger Russian rubles for the American dollars, I felt that people in line knew that we are about to leave this country and were accusing us, judging us, disapproving our decision.
When I held American dollars in my hand, it seemed very strange. I had to count it several times to make sure it was the right amount. It was $600.00. We had no idea what this amount was, what could be done with it, how long it would last...
Finally the day came when our carefully packed suitcases were loaded in the taxi, and our small family along with my Mom and Dad, Felix's cousin and uncle left for the airport. June 22 1975. It was hard to look at each other, tears were in everyone's eyes, but everyone tried to show courage and support each other. My Mom was holding Masha. She made chicken soup, packed some cookies, fruit and sandwiches and  kept explaining where everything was. When we got to the airport it was time for final goodbyes. How do you say Goodbye to your loved ones, knowing that you might never see them again? Gut wrenching...
At the customs soldiers were doing everything possible to make our departure more difficult. They took everything from the suitcases, even tore  the head from Masha's doll, checked the thermos with chicken soup. "What are you looking for? What are you doing?" Ida kept asking them. Felix begged her to be quiet and just do what they were asking. Well, now I know. They were looking for bribe, for money.
Next to us was an older woman with her son, Erik, who was a violinist. The were so rough with his violin and when he asked to please be careful with it, one of the soldiers said: "Actually, this cannot leave the country". He pleaded with them, said that he had an authorization for it, but they confiscated it anyway. Oh, so much anger and pain in his eyes.
 They even took mine and Felix's golden necklace. For some reason, one of the guards allowed me to go back to the waiting area and give it to my Mom. Finally, we were in the International Waiting area. There was a big glass wall and we could see people on the other side. And to our surprise, we saw my Mom, Dad and uncle Alex. They came to the glass, Masha stretched her arms to my Mom. They touched through the glass and she mouthed: "I love you". One of the guards came up and with a smirk on his face drew the curtains closed. "Have you no heart?" Erik's mother lost it. She was hysterical and panic-stricken. We all tried to console her, to keep her quiet, because they still could escort her out for "disturbing piece". After we boarded the plane, it seemed that we transformed into the different world. And it was. It was the world of freedom, sanity, and possibilities. But we did not know it then. We just felt it. There were 7 families on the plane  leaving  Soviet Union with the one way ticket among the other passengers.

Marina Davidovich and Marianna ( Masha)  ~ Exit Visa Photo