#13 ~ I am a MOTHER!!!

There were several students in the College that were married, but I was the only one who was expecting a child. Very few of my close friends knew about it and nothing changed in my appearance until I was about 4.5 months pregnant. I wore a big black jacket that completely concealed my pregnancy. Non of my professors new that I am expecting. In September before the school resumed I moved in with Felix and his Mother, Ida. The situation was very awkward: Ida lived in the same flat with her x-husband Isak Aronovich. They had 2 separate rooms, but they shared kitchen and bathroom. Felix's bed ( a narrow futon) was in the narrow hallway. An that's where we slept. Isak was a school teacher, so he was up at 5:30am and was gone from the house from 6am-6pm. School, where he worked was far away and he had to use bus and city tram to get there. Sundays were difficult since he stayed home most of the day. But he was a very nice man and tried very hard to stay out of our way.
I was busy at school, and tried not to think about the future. Ida's cousin, Bella and her family left for Israel and promised to send us an invitation. I asked Felix why do we need an invitation, and he said:"Just in case". We kept getting information from friends about their life in America, Israel and Canada. I gradually started to realize that we have no future, we did not even have place to live. And we are going to have a baby!
I took an early midterm exams and in December I went home to be with my Mom and Dad. At least there I had my own room. It was very weird for me to see changes in my body, feel the baby move in my stomach. I was so young, so naïve, but very inspired and curious.
In 2 months after I got home, the most beautiful healthy baby girl was born. And it changed my life FOREVER!!! I was responsible for this little tiny person. Mother's instinct took over immediately! In the hospital there were 12 women in the same room with me. We did a lot of talking, exchanged stories: some sweet, some horrifying, some scary. I was the youngest one, so everyone felt obligated to teach me "life". Babies were brought to us every 3 hours for nursing. I could not wait to see my little girl and she was the most beautiful child I have ever seen!
It is a mandatory 7 days stay in the hospital. Food was horrible and I was so hungry! Relatives were allowed to bring food to us. Felix was still in Kiev, working. Every day my Mom would bring me a little pot with chicken soup, mashed potatoes or pirogi (pastry with meat inside). There were no showers, beds were very small and uncomfortable, my robe was 4 times my size, so were the slippers. I could not wait to get out of there. However, nurses and doctors were wonderful, very helpful and understanding. I was dreaming of going home and take a long bath...or at least a short shower.
Finally the day came when I was allowed to leave the hospital with my baby. Felix and my Mother met me downstairs and when he saw me, his eyes said it all. I was so skinny and pale, worn out and exhausted, he was speechless. But when he saw our perfect, beautiful girl, he cried. And I cried with him. The nurse  looked at me and simply said:"You are going to be a wonderful mother."

Marianna Davidovich (Masha) ~ my beautiful baby!

I cant remember how we got home, but I know that we did not have a stroller yet, so we must of carried our precious bundle in our hands all the way home using the city bus.